As an elementary school teacher, devoted wife, mother, grandmother and lifelong observer of people, Edna has learned that everyday acts of kindness, patience and understanding are where real connections are made.
The teacher becomes the student
After decades of working with young children, Edna says she learned the importance of being sensitive to the feelings of others. However, a piece of wisdom from her late husband taught her not to be too sensitive herself.
“There are many times when I get angry,” Edna admits. “And then I remember my husband saying, ‘Is it really worth it to get angry over something that Joe Blow said?’ And I’ll realize it’s over with already, and I should not be holding on to it.”
Rather than resentment, Edna has learned to hold on to gratitude for kindnesses both great and small.
The kindness of strangers
After her husband passed away, Edna found herself facing many things on her own for the first time. One day, after a trip to the pharmacy, she was crossing the street when a bag of purchases spilled from her walker into the middle of the road. As she struggled to gather everything, a well-dressed stranger stopped and began picking up the items with her. Edna remembers telling him he didn’t need to, but he helped anyway.
“I am forever grateful for that moment,” she says.
What stayed with her wasn’t that he picked up a few dropped items – it was the feeling that someone cared.
“There was someone there for me,” she says. “And I needed that.”
Treat yourself as you’d like to be treated
The stranger who stopped to help Edna likely never imagined she would still be talking about that moment years later. Yet his kindness became part of her story – and part of the wisdom she now shares with others.
But, she clarifies, kindness isn’t an obligation or self-sacrifice. Sometimes saying no to what someone else wants is a way to be kind to yourself.
“If somebody wants to date you, they will make it their business to find you,” Edna says emphatically. “And if they ask you out, you don’t always have to say yes. It’s not so terrible to sit home or be with your friends.”
After decades spent caring for others – as a wife, mother, teacher and friend – Edna learned that kindness doesn’t mean saying yes to everything or everyone. It means understanding what matters to you and honoring it.
Wisdom for the ages
At 94, Edna knows that a good life isn’t measured by accomplishments alone. It’s measured by the care we show one another and the grace we extend to ourselves.
It’s a lesson she brings to her relationships with family and her neighbors at Atria West 86, and it’s the pearl of wisdom she wants to share: Never underestimate the power of small acts of kindness for those around you – and for yourself.
In celebration of Atria’s 30th anniversary, we’re sharing Pearls of Wisdom from the wisest people we know – the residents in our senior living communities, who have navigated every chapter of life. Visit AtriaPearls.com to browse an archive of their advice and gather even more wisdom.
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